EP 101: Why We Stay in Bad Relationships - And How I Finally Walked Away

In Episode 101 of Mental Mixology, titled "Why We Stay in Bad Relationships (And How I Finally Walked Away)," host Elex opens up for Suicide Awareness Month about one of the most challenging chapters of her life: surviving a toxic, five-year relationship that led to severe mental health struggles and suicidal ideation. She emphasizes that this episode is not about dragging an ex, but rather throwing a lifeline to anyone currently feeling trapped or isolated in a harmful dynamic. Elex shares how the relationship began with love bombing, rapid attachment, and subtle red flags—including a glaring lie about her partner's age—which she initially excused due to cognitive dissonance, holding onto the belief that he was her dream partner despite his hurtful behavior.

The episode breaks down the psychological and neurobiological reasons why walking away from toxic dynamics is so difficult. Elex explains concepts like narcissistic control, gaslighting, and the DARVO manipulation technique (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender), illustrating how repeated deception causes the prefrontal cortex to freeze in self-doubt. She discusses how chronic lying and infidelity trigger Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD) and how intermittent reinforcement functions like a slot machine—flooding the body with stress hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) during conflict, followed by comfort chemicals (oxytocin) during affectionate moments, creating a literal chemical addiction and trauma bond.

Elex details the turning point when arguments escalated to property damage and threats of harm, culminating in an incident where police were called—a moment that served as a divine wake-up call and a break in the chemical cycle. While secretly preparing for her independence, she leaned heavily on her faith, prayer, and relationship with God to gain the confidence needed to leave. After officially signing a lease and moving out in February, she began addressing the physical toll of living five years in fight-or-flight, including adrenal fatigue and digestive issues. Through somatic grounding exercises, breathwork, chakra alignment, and trauma-informed care, Elex highlights how she reclaimed her peace, self-worth, and happiness while navigating single life in 2026.

Episode Resources & Support Lifelines

• Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 | 988lifeline.org

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text "START" to 88788 | thehotline.org

• Love Is Respect (Youth & Young Adult Support): Call 1-866-331-9474 or text "LOVEIS" to 22522 | loveisrespect.org

• Crisis Text Line: Text "HOME" to 741741 | crisistextline.org

• EMDR Therapy Directory (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): emdria.org

• Somatic Experiencing International (Body-Based Trauma Therapy): traumahealing.org

• SAMHSA’s National Helpline (Substance Use & Mental Health Services): Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) | samhsa.gov